By Catherine Sandland
It’s incredibly common to hear this: ‘If you’ve got a fantastic story, you should stand up on stage and share it.’
And there’s truth in that. Stories are powerful. People love stories. We live in an age of celebrity, fame, and adulation for those who’ve done incredible and amazing things. If you’ve climbed Everest blindfolded with a small dog on your back, if you’ve overcome extraordinary adversity, if you’ve achieved an astonishing sporting accolade, grown a remarkable business, invented something, or conducted groundbreaking research, then yes, that story will always be your calling card. It will always be one of the reasons you’re asked to speak.
But here’s the thing I’m always mindful of: stories aren’t the be-all and end-all.
Having a great story gets you the gig. But it’s what you do with that story that determines whether you create real impact or just leave people exhausted.
The Rule of TIM
I have a rule about stories. I call it the rule of TIM.
Stories should be tactical. They should have intentional impact. And they should carry a message.
In other words, before we stand up and tell a story, even our own story, we should know exactly why we’re doing it. What do we want the impact to be? What experience do we want to create? What should the audience feel? And crucially, what’s the message it’s carrying?
Without that intentionality, you’re just relaying events. And that’s rarely enough.
When Amazing People Give Exhausting Talks
Let me be honest with you about something I experienced. I was in an audience listening to someone relay their personal story. Awful things had happened to them, things they’d had to deal with and overcome. This person was undoubtedly amazing. Their resilience was extraordinary.
But here’s the uncomfortable truth: I got exhausted listening. I got so caught up in the horror of what they were saying, and I didn’t know why they were telling me this. There was no shape to it, no reason for taking me to such a dark place. I started losing interest, which sounds terrible to admit, but I couldn’t relate what was being said to anything. It was up to me to make the links, and that was tiring.
The story was simply relayed from beginning to end. In detail. With no message behind it. No moment to pause and consider. No space to acknowledge our own responses or experiences. Just a relentless downloading of misery.
At the end, everyone went up and said, ‘What an amazing talk.’ But what they actually meant was, ‘What an amazing person.’ And they were amazing. But the talk? The talk was exhausting at best. Therapy on a stage at worst.
It was a missed opportunity. This person had life lessons and insights that no one else had. We could have become curious about those. We could have left in a different state, transformed by what we’d heard. Instead, we left drained and unsure what to do with what we’d just witnessed.
Don’t Be Lazy With Your Story
You may well have a great story. It might be what gets you invited to speak. But once you’ve got the gig because of your story, don’t lose the opportunity by being lazy in how you tell it.
That might sound harsh, but it needs saying.
Know why you’re telling your story. Know what impact you want it to have. Understand the potential and the opportunity that sits behind it. Don’t just relay it because it’s dramatic or remarkable or moving. Shape it. Give it purpose. Make it carry a message that transforms people, not just informs them.
It’s Not Just Personal Stories
Of course, it might not be your personal story. It could be the story of your business. The origin story of how you started, the challenges you faced, the breakthrough moment. Those stories have power too.
But the same principles apply. If you just tell it, you miss the opportunity. You miss the chance to engage, to incite curiosity, to start conversations. You miss the moment where people sit in the audience and think, ‘This is impacting me as an individual. This is influencing how I see things.’
You need to make that happen. Intentionally.
What Intentional Storytelling Looks Like
Intentional storytelling starts with asking yourself three questions before you tell the story:
1. Why Am I Telling This Story?
Not ‘because it’s interesting’ or ‘because it happened to me’. Why does this audience need to hear this? What does it illuminate about the challenge they’re facing or the opportunity they’re missing?
2. What Do I Want Them to Feel?
Do you want them to feel inspired? Challenged? Curious? Uncomfortable in a way that makes them rethink their assumptions? Be clear about the emotional journey you’re taking them on, and why.
3. What’s the Message?
What should they take away? What shift in thinking, in perspective, in behaviour do you want to create? If they can’t articulate the message after hearing your story, you haven’t told it well enough.
When you’ve answered these questions, then you shape the story accordingly. You include the details that serve the message and leave out the ones that don’t. You create moments of pause where the audience can connect your experience to theirs. You build towards the insight, not just towards the ending.
The Difference Between Amazing Person and Amazing Talk
Here’s what I want you to understand: being an amazing person with an amazing story doesn’t automatically make you an amazing speaker. Those are different things.
Your story might be your calling card. It might be what gets you on stage. But what makes you an authority, what makes you stand out, what makes you the speaker people remember and reference, is what you do with that story.
Do you use it tactically? Do you create intentional impact? Does it carry a message that transforms how people think?
Or do you just tell it because it’s there?
The Opportunity in Your Story
If you have a story that gets you speaking opportunities, that’s brilliant. Don’t underestimate that advantage. But don’t waste it either.
Your story contains insights that only you have. Lessons that only you’ve learned. Perspectives that only you can offer. But those things don’t automatically transmit just by telling what happened. You have to excavate them. You have to shape them. You have to deliver them with intention.
That’s the difference between a story that gets you booked and a talk that creates lasting impact. Between being memorable because of what happened to you and being memorable because of what you helped your audience understand.
Your story isn’t enough on its own. But when you pair it with tactical thinking, intentional impact, and a clear message, it becomes something remarkable.
That’s when you move from being someone with an amazing story to being an authority with something essential to say.
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Want help shaping your story to create real impact?
Visit www.catherinesandland.com to learn more.