How to stop feeling nervous and start feeling more confident.
The thought of giving a presentation can fill people with dread and make them question ‘what if it goes wrong?’ Here’s how to stop feeling nervous and start feeling more confident.
What are the signs you are feeling nervous?
Dry mouth, shaky hands, tummy doing flip flops?
What are your thoughts when you feel these physical symptoms?
Oh, dear God…, they are going to hate me, I haven’t prepared as I should, I hate large groups, what if they ask me horrible questions, what if I mess up?
That feeling
Remember that we all assign meaning to situations and create a set of beliefs about them. So often, a nervous speaker will feel his/her mouth go dry and think oh no…I am nervous, and I hate giving presentations, and this is awful. They then associate presentations with having a dry mouth, which means that they are nervous and, therefore, they hate presentations. It becomes a vicious circle.
When my youngest son, William, now 14, was starting primary school, he was very excited. As we walked to school that first day, he set off with a spring in his step, but as we neared the school, his steps got slower and slower until, eventually, he turned his little face to me and, with tears in his eyes, said he had a tummy ache. You’re probably thinking, poor little lad – he was just nervous, that’s all. Except that at 4, he didn’t have the language to say nervous. He hadn’t learned to use labels like nervous or anxious. He just noticed what his body was doing and told me – I have a tummy ache (from adrenalin.)
If you are fearful of speaking in public, take a read of this blog.
What labels do you use?
Are you nervous?
Do you hating speaking in public?
Perhaps you are buzzing?
Are you ready to deliver?
Changing the language around describing our own experiences to ourselves can change how confident or nervous we feel and how we approach potentially ‘scary ‘things – such as speaking in public. Choosing labels that help us rather than hinder us is powerful and empowering.
If you’d like to know where the fear of public speaking comes from, take a read here.
How confident do you feel?
Talking of confidence, I listened to some great presentation advice this morning. The trainer rightly pointed out that sometimes the meaning we ascribe to those physical symptoms jumps from how we are physically feeling to the conclusion that we are not very confident. If we are not very confident, we are not good at giving presentations.
The problem with that is that we don’t do presentations. And guess what? We never give ourselves a chance to build that confidence. Vicious circle.
As this trainer said, you didn’t ride a bike the first time with confidence. You gained the confidence to ride the bike through riding the bike. It is the same with speaking. You don’t start speaking in public necessarily with loads of confidence, but you get confident speaking through speaking more often.
But back to those nervous symptoms…
What if that nervous speaker assigned a different meaning to the physical symptom? Just because your tummy flips over doesn’t mean they will hate you, right? It just means adrenalin is flowing, and your tummy has flipped over.
Here’s a tip how to stop feeling nervous.
Try this change in thinking patterns… When you feel your tummy flip over, change your thinking pattern to
…ah, the adrenalin is pumping. This means that it is nearly ready to go and perform. What must I do to make this go well ( i.e. drink water or breath)? Right here I go…
How to stop feeling nervous? Be more William (age 4)
- Acknowledge the physical symptoms that might occur in your body when you are about to speak.
- Assign a resourceful (helpful) meaning to them and listen to what they want you to do (drink water, breathe more deeply, stand tall, smile etc)
- Thank your body for getting you in the zone and prepared….and go for it!
If you have any specific questions about how your body and mind get ready for presentations, drop me a line.