How to give a truly awful presentation

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  1. Decide what you want to tell your audience and do not give a single fleeting thought to the needs, wants, experience and perspective of those people who will be present. This way you won’t have to be bothered with any sort of research or thinking time and can get stuck into designing your slides on PowerPoint. ( see point 2)
  2. Switch on PowerPoint and write in bullet points and in great depth the script of what you want to say.  You can then feel confident that you won’t dry up, forget anything because it is all up there for you to be able to read off the screen ( and there is the added benefit of being able to look continuously at the screen and to having to get eye contact with the audience) (see point4)
  3. Don’t practice – it is embarrassing and besides which it is much more comforting to have the script on the screen to read.  And for those of you who like the spontaneity of ‘speaking off the cuff’ don’t even practice the structure of what you will be saying – that way you can enjoy the adrenalin rush of making it up on the spot (and it doesn’t really matter if people can’t follow you or remember what you’ve said afterwards…after all they have copies of the slides. )
  4. When you deliver the presentation make sure that you look everywhere in the room except at the people in the audience.  This means that you can’t tell what their response is and you don’t have to do any of that rapport stuff.  And you can concentrate on reading the slides ( see points 1,2,3

PS – all these in reverse will work wonders!  Top Four Tips:

 

a)                       Think about what the audience need to hear from you

b)                       Decide what to say and how to say it before even switching on PowerPoint

c)                       Practice out loud to make it better

d)                       Get and maintain eye contact and connect with your audience

 

Let me know your thoughts and comments below.  How many people have you seen follow the first four points to the letter?

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